okay, i just have to get this off my chest.

i've been doing loads of thinking, and i really do feel very guilty.
i feel that i'm not spending enough time with my friends and i take them for granted.
they are like so so important to me and i dont even bother to cherish my time with them.
we are already in different classes, and when we have the same recess or even in the morning, i dont even talk to them much.
i feel that we are sort of drifting apart and whatever we said about sticking together no matter what, is like going away.
and i'm not even taking the initiative to do so (?)
last friday (yesterday) keeps coming back to me.
i met them for recess, yeah. but did i even talk to them?
no. not even for more than a few lines!
i dont know if i'm angry with myself or what, but i just feel that i've not been a really good friend.
i wish i could just tell them like face to face, but i dont even have the courage to do so. and which i feel is very pathetic.
no, i'm not wallowing in self pity or seeking attention.
but i just feel so sorry?
sorry that i am not really making the effort to make this friendship last?
or sorry that i dont care?
but the fact is, i do care. i do care about you all and how you feel
and i need to talk to you guys.
i really dont want our friendship to go down.
but you're my friends, and friends stick together forever. (at least i hope so)
you guys mean everything to me, and i mean it.
i'm sorry for not being such a good friend to you and i'll try my best to be a better one.
i love you.